Keisha - Sacred Sensual Healer and
Certified tantra educator
|Posted on January 28, 2011 at 12:19 PM|
A lot of the differences between men and women have to do with the differences in the brain.
For instance, women, on the whole, have a keener sense of smell, taste and touch than men. So it's important for men and women to communicate with each other in regards to their preferences.
Does she like it if you take a shower before playing, or does she like it if you don't? Ask her.
Women, keep in mind that many of his senses are not as sensitive as yours, so be sure to tell him if odors or tastes bother you.
I am very sensitive to touch, taste and smell. I like a man to be freshly showered before playing. Most cologne gives me a headache, so I prefer if a man doesn't wear cologne. I can even be very sensitive to the smell of deodorant, so I prefer that a man uses unscented deodorant.
It's also important to me that a man's breath smell fresh and clean. One of the smells that I intensely dislike on a man's breath is coffee. So if you are going to go on a date with me, be sure to not have coffee right before we meet, or if you want to kiss me good night, don't have coffee after your meal.
Men's preferences in regard to smell can vary as well. One guy that I went out with, loved me to be squeeky clean before sex, which is also how I like to be. But I've been out with another man who loves my natural body scent and would love to play with me when I came home from the gym all sweaty. Another man I went out with requested that all my nether regions to "marinate" for at least 24 hours before he saw me, he wanted me to be "ripe.
So it's very important for men and women to communicate with each other in regards to body scents.
Women's skin is ten times more sensitive than mens, so it's important to ask a woman how she likes to be touched. Her reality may be different than yours.
I am often asked about why women like so much foreplay and men like to get right down to it.
One of the reasons has to do with differences in the brain. When woman's brain is at "rest", there is actually a massive amount of activity going on in the brain. And when a man's brain is at rest, the brain activity is relatively quiet. They have done lots of brain scans on men and women that demonstrate this fact.
Men's brains are always looking for stimulation. With lower brain activity and higher testosterone levels, it doesn't take a man much to get him going.
Women on the other hand, need to have their brains calmed down in order to get turned on. So a generous amount of foreplay is needed to help her transition from living in that hyper active multi-tasking brain, to getting her into her body and ready to play.
I have found that what turns me on most is when a guy will massage my entire body and touch every single part of my body before he ever touches my genitals. In fact the longer he massages me without touching my between my legs, the more excited and wet I get.
I especially love foot massage. And I found out that one of the reasons for this is because the sensory center in the brain for the feet is right next to the sensory center in the brain for the clitoris. A good foot massage, always turns me on and turns off my over active brain.
Here's another fact that I found fascinating that has to do with differences between the male and female brain. Because of the way we evolved, men as hunters, women as gathers, women have much better peripheral vision, and men have better distance vision. So men get caught looking at another women, much more often than women get caught looking at other men. When men look at a woman, their head usually turns because their peripheral vision is not so good. This causes them to get caught looking. Women can look at another man, but not look as if she is, because she is using her peripheral vision.
Also, men have better night vision, so if you and your partner are driving at night, you might want to let the him do the driving.
For a lot more information regarding the things I've shared here, I recommend the book "Sex on the Brain" by Daniel G. Amen M.D.
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Categories: Sex Education For Grown Ups