Keisha - Sacred Sensual Healer and
Certified tantra educator
|Posted on November 12, 2014 at 2:02 PM||comments (16)|
I was invited to do a storytelling show called Tasty Words. The theme for the month was The Sexy Beast. I had never done a story telling show before, so I was considered a "Tasty Virgin", but I was very excited.
Here is my story:
My path into pornography was not stereotypical. I was never molested as a child. I’ve never been raped or in an abusive relationship. And I have never been addicted to drugs or alcohol.
Being in the adult entertainment business has actually been a very positive experience for me, and has been a big part of my conscious spiritual path.
One of my earliest memories, in relation to my sexuality, happened when I was 3 years old. I was at this New Years Eve party, that my parents took me to, and all I remember is that I just loved the men. I enjoyed sitting on their laps and flirting with them. I just adored luxuriating in their energy and attention.
When I turned 7, my exhibitionist started emerging. I had this little body suit that had a snap on skirt and I used to go up to people and say, “do you wanna see me dance?” And I’d dance around and rip off my skirt. And I felt so proud of myself. One day my mother caught me doing this, and she said, “oh, honey, don’t do that, that’s called a strip tease.” But instead of deterring me from doing that in the future, I’d go up to people and say to people, “do you wanna see me do a strip tease.”
By the time I was 12, I had the reputation as a slut, even before I lost my virginity. And to be honest with you, it really hurt to be put down for something that I felt was so wonderful and innocent and delightful. I used to sneak off behind the bushes with these two 13-year-old boys, and we’d make out. We would kiss and feel each other up. One guy would put his hand up my shirt and the other one would have his hand down my pants. And I’d reach down their pants and play with them. I cherished our secret playtime. I thought it was the best feeling in the world. You know, looking back, this was actually my first threesome.
Even though I was having sexy fun with the boys, I had a lot of insecurities about my looks. Once I hit puberty, I went through this really awkward stage. I went from being a tiny, petite, little gymnast to having this explosion of tits and hips, and I started struggling with my weight. My ears stuck out, my nose and my lips were too big for my face. And I had no idea what to do with my naturally curly hair, which, back then, was just a frizzy mess.
However, one of the boys in my class signed in my yearbook “stay sexy sweetheart” and I remember having the thought, “Well, I may not be pretty, but at least I’m sexy.” I struggled with this dichotomy of feeling very sexy, but not quite feeling attractive enough, all through high school as well.
By the time I hit 18, I was searching the want ads and came across two tiny little lines that would change the trajectory of my life forever. It said, “fantasy phone call girls wanted, must be attractive”. This intrigued me, “why would I have to be attractive to be a fantasy phone call girl?”
I called them up and they explained that they advertised to their customers, that they would prove to them, that they were talking to an attractive girl, by sending them a custom posed, nude polaroid of the girl that they talked to.
I scheduled an interview with them, and I knew I could definitely do the phone sex, but I wasn’t entirely sure if I would be considered attractive.
However, despite my insecurities, they loved me and hired me on the spot. Working for this company was a very gentle introduction to being in the adult entertainment business. It was like porn pre-school. I did my first nude photos and eventually I did girl-girl photos and boy-girl and threesome photos. And those were hard core! (That means actual fucking!)
When I was 19 years old, I was invited to the
X-rated Critics Organization awards show. I dressed up in my sexiest dress with a plunging neckline.
That night, at least 10 people came up to me and said, “are you an actress?” and I’d say, “no”, and they’d say, “oh, you should be!”
Even though I had been working for the fantasy phone call company for a year, and had some experience taking nude photos, I still had the thought, “who would want to see me with my clothes off?”
I was completely enthralled by the beautiful porn stars there, but I didn’t feel like I quite measured up to some of these petite, tight-bodied, blondes.
When Tracy Lords was on stage, this girl leaned over to me and said, “you see that girl, she drives a Ferrari. You can really make a lot of money in this business.”
Wow! That really excited me! The idea of a lifestyle of sexual freedom and financial independence - at this early age - really appealed to me.
So, I thought about it for a while, and I decided to go for it.
I was introduced to this famous Penthouse photographer named Suze Randall. She was one of the hottest photographers in the industry, and I did a test shoot with her. She asked me if I had an agent, and I said “no”, so she got on the phone, and in her frothy English accent said, “Jim, I’ve got a girl here with knockers that will knock your socks off.”
When Jim booked me on my first movie, I wasn’t even nervous. I loved it!
For the first time I felt like I could totally be my unencumbered self.
I could run around naked, flirt with all the guys, have lots of sex and nobody put me down for it. And they paid me for it!
I was going along, being in the business, making movies, shooting for magazines, doing personal appearances, and having a lot of fun.
But there was all this negative press coming out – there were people like Linda Lovelace and Marilyn Chambers talking about how horrible the industry had been for them.
That made me begin to doubt myself, and I wondered, “oh my god! Am I fucking up my life by fucking for a living?”
I started thinking about my future. Will I end up regretting what I’ve done? How long does one stay in porn anyway? And what do you do after porn? All of my friends are in college – Shouldn’t I be in college?
I hit this wall of self doubt and fear, and I didn’t know what to do. So I confided in one of my good friends, who was a phone sex girl, and she said,
“You need to go see Bill Burns, and you have to get a reading! He’s a spiritual teacher and a psychic. He’ll really help you!” She was very insistent that I go, so I did.
Now Bill’s not your typical psychic with the neon palm in the front window. This man is the real deal. – I love him…He’s fond of saying things like, “Spirituality doesn’t care if you sleep with a guy, a girl or a goat. Spirituality only cares what you’ve learned from your experiences.”
I got a reading from him and he explained to me that I was fundamentally a teacher and a healer. He said that I was teaching now in my acting and that people who watched my movies, whether they realized it consciously or not, were getting a healthy change in their thinking – they were getting a healthy change in their attitude toward sexuality. He let me know that being in porn was a perfectly valid spiritual path for me. And when he said this, it resonated in my gut.
When I walked out of his office, I felt elated! I knew that what I was on the right track, regardless of what anybody else said about it. He even told me that “a million people can tell you that your wrong, but if it feels right in your gut, then it is right for you.”
I continued on working in the adult industry, and having a really having a great time with it. One day, at one of my personal appearances, this adorable 18 year old boy, came up to me and said, “um…like you’re different…like… when you do it…it’s not dirty.” And I said, “That’s right”.
It made me smile because it really touched my heart. I knew that my message was getting through to him and other young boys like him. I felt confident that I was on my spiritual path, and I knew it was my mission to bring joy to the world one orgasm at a time.
|Posted on July 29, 2013 at 3:37 PM||comments (0)|
I just recently started taking trapeze classes again. It's really a blast! When I was young, I used to love gymnastics and I am a circus monkey at heart! Doing trapeze is a great way for me to do gymnasticy type things without the harsh landings. I also like taking trampoline classes too.
I just thought it would be fun to share my hobby with you.
To see a video of me on the trapeze, you can click here http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I-MuXOLIsg0&feature=youtu.be
Here's some photos from my class on 7-28-13
|Posted on March 29, 2011 at 4:07 PM||comments (130)|
When I was quite young and I was just learning about sexuality, I remember that a complaint that women used to have about men is that they were discourteous lovers and they just got on and “did their business” and got off. They didn’t pay attention to whether the woman was having a good experience.
Well, times have changed and so have men. I have witnessed that, in general, today’s man, is a much more sexually thoughtful man. They truly care if the woman they are having sex with is enjoying herself too. They want to please her. They want to make her come.
However, I have noticed that the pendulum has swung in the completely opposite direction. I have often encountered the fact that many men have attached their self esteem, in relation to sex, as to whether or not they make a woman come, rather than being in the moment and just enjoying whatever unfolds. I have experienced that men are often plagued with performance anxiety. They think that they know what they need to do to make the woman happy, and when they don’t perform to the ideal in their head, they feel bad about themselves.
This is what I called goal oriented sex, or performance oriented sex, and it can really ruin what could be a wonderful sensual experience.
I have come to discover that often, when I’m with a man, he has the idea in his head that what will please me is if he can perform sexually the way my co-workers and I perform in my movies. Nothing could be further from the truth. The sex that I have on camera is a formulaic performance sex, designed to stimulate the watcher. But the kind of sex that I have on camera is not the kind of sex I enjoy when I’m off camera.
When I am in private with a man, I like to think of sex as a full body massage that includes the genitals. I like it to start slowly and sensually. One of my favorite things to do is to give a man a wonderful cock massage with my mouth. This is much different than the kinds of blow job that you see on camera, and if I did this type of oral sex on in a movie, it would be boring to watch because it is not obvious from the outside what I am doing with my mouth on the inside.
I touch my warm wet tongue to his cock. I slowly and gently explore his cock with my tongue and I get his cock nice and moist with my mouth. I subtly massage his cock with my tongue. I gently swipe my tongue back and forth across his frenulum, which is a very sensitive part of the cock. I intuitively explore his cock with my mouth. There is no formula for this type of massage, it is all about responding to the moment. I can sense what is pleasurable to his cock in that moment. I pay attention to my tongue, and if it feels pleasurable my tongue, it is highly likely that it is pleasurable to him.
I allow the moment to direct me as to how this gentle cock massage will go. Sometimes it progresses to a more vigorous course of action, either sucking harder, or using both my hand and mouth in an up and down motion to give greater stimulation. And sometimes it stays soft, subtle and quiet and the man floats in a state of orgasmic pleasure. Some times it ends in orgasm, some times it does not. Sometimes it leads to sex, sometimes it does not.
What is important is that we both stay in the moment, let go of any preconceived ideas of where this should lead and enjoy the pleasure that we are giving each other in each moment.
Like I said earlier, often men will have their sexual self esteem connected to a preconceived goal in their head, which is usually that they want to give a woman an orgasm - and in this case I’m talking specifically about me. I have found that because of this desire to give pleasure, men sometimes have a hard time just laying back and being a good receiver. Well, I’m here to tell you that you are naked in bed with me, it is totally ok, to relax and allow yourself to be a good receiver for some of the time we are together. I get a lot of pleasure out of giving you pleasure. So when you relax and allow yourself to be a good receiver, you are also giving me pleasure.
Once I was with a lovely man and I was giving him one of my wonderful cock massages with my mouth. He was having a wonderful time, writhing in an orgasmic state. The energy passing between us was wonderful. And then he expressed that he was disappointed because he really wanted to make me happy sexually, and he felt like he was failing to please me because we weren’t having sex like I have in the movies.
I was so heartbroken for him. Here we were in the moment having an absolutely wonderful time. The last thing I wanted in that moment was to perform sex like I do in the movies. The warmth and sensuality that we were sharing with each other was absolutely exquisite. I wanted for nothing more than what arose between us in the moment. I felt that the evening was perfect and I was completely happy, satisfied and content. I felt so bad that he was criticizing himself for not performing for me the way that he thought I wanted.
So my lovely dear men, I invite you to let go of your preconceived ideas of what you think will please a woman, and focus on the experience in front of you. Allow it to unfold organically and just do what feels good in the moment.
I invite you to let go of goal and performance oriented sex. Goal and performance oriented sex often leads to performance anxiety, which leads to an inability to perform. I think that it is wonderful that you want to please the woman you are with. But let go of your preconceived ideas of what that should look like and pay attention to how she is responding in the moment. Pay attention to her sounds. If she is making sounds of pleasure, then do more of that. If she is not making pleasure sounds then maybe try something different.
Start with slow subtle touch and just see where it goes. Sometimes it will end up in really hot sex that resembles what you see in the movies. But sometimes you can give each other amazing pleasure to each other in a softer, more subtle way. I believe that most people on the planet completely underestimate the exquisite pleasure that can be derived from soft subtle touch. You never see this type of sexuality on camera, because, frankly, it would be very boring to watch. What feels good, doesn’t necessarily translate to being stimulating to watch, and what looks great on camera and very stimulating to watch, often is not what feels good in private.
Also, I feel it is important to share that when I am with a man, I am not comparing him to any other man. The two of us are creating a unique sensual experience that only the two of us will share, and it is going to be completely different than any other experience that I have created with any other person. So there is no reason to feel that you have to perform like the men that you have imagined that I’ve been with, or the men that you’ve seen me on camera with and are comparing yourself and your performance to.
I truly don’t want you to perform. I want you to relax and allow us to create a unique sensual, sexual experience that will not be compared to any other, it is unique to us. We can focus on bringing each other pleasure in the way that unfolds for us in the moment. And that may not look like any thing you have experienced before, and it may not look like what you have seen in the movies. What is important is having a energetic sensual connection and responding to the moment and doing what makes us feel good in that moment. Each time we are with each other, it will be a unique expression of sexuality, not to be compared to anything else.
Lots of Lust,
|Posted on January 28, 2011 at 12:19 PM||comments (98)|
A lot of the differences between men and women have to do with the differences in the brain.
For instance, women, on the whole, have a keener sense of smell, taste and touch than men. So it's important for men and women to communicate with each other in regards to their preferences.
Does she like it if you take a shower before playing, or does she like it if you don't? Ask her.
Women, keep in mind that many of his senses are not as sensitive as yours, so be sure to tell him if odors or tastes bother you.
I am very sensitive to touch, taste and smell. I like a man to be freshly showered before playing. Most cologne gives me a headache, so I prefer if a man doesn't wear cologne. I can even be very sensitive to the smell of deodorant, so I prefer that a man uses unscented deodorant.
It's also important to me that a man's breath smell fresh and clean. One of the smells that I intensely dislike on a man's breath is coffee. So if you are going to go on a date with me, be sure to not have coffee right before we meet, or if you want to kiss me good night, don't have coffee after your meal.
Men's preferences in regard to smell can vary as well. One guy that I went out with, loved me to be squeeky clean before sex, which is also how I like to be. But I've been out with another man who loves my natural body scent and would love to play with me when I came home from the gym all sweaty. Another man I went out with requested that all my nether regions to "marinate" for at least 24 hours before he saw me, he wanted me to be "ripe.
So it's very important for men and women to communicate with each other in regards to body scents.
Women's skin is ten times more sensitive than mens, so it's important to ask a woman how she likes to be touched. Her reality may be different than yours.
I am often asked about why women like so much foreplay and men like to get right down to it.
One of the reasons has to do with differences in the brain. When woman's brain is at "rest", there is actually a massive amount of activity going on in the brain. And when a man's brain is at rest, the brain activity is relatively quiet. They have done lots of brain scans on men and women that demonstrate this fact.
Men's brains are always looking for stimulation. With lower brain activity and higher testosterone levels, it doesn't take a man much to get him going.
Women on the other hand, need to have their brains calmed down in order to get turned on. So a generous amount of foreplay is needed to help her transition from living in that hyper active multi-tasking brain, to getting her into her body and ready to play.
I have found that what turns me on most is when a guy will massage my entire body and touch every single part of my body before he ever touches my genitals. In fact the longer he massages me without touching my between my legs, the more excited and wet I get.
I especially love foot massage. And I found out that one of the reasons for this is because the sensory center in the brain for the feet is right next to the sensory center in the brain for the clitoris. A good foot massage, always turns me on and turns off my over active brain.
Here's another fact that I found fascinating that has to do with differences between the male and female brain. Because of the way we evolved, men as hunters, women as gathers, women have much better peripheral vision, and men have better distance vision. So men get caught looking at another women, much more often than women get caught looking at other men. When men look at a woman, their head usually turns because their peripheral vision is not so good. This causes them to get caught looking. Women can look at another man, but not look as if she is, because she is using her peripheral vision.
Also, men have better night vision, so if you and your partner are driving at night, you might want to let the him do the driving.
For a lot more information regarding the things I've shared here, I recommend the book "Sex on the Brain" by Daniel G. Amen M.D.
sex education, sex therapy, sex with a porn star, sex sex, sex, sex therapy, Keisha, Porn StarKeisha
|Posted on January 20, 2011 at 2:18 AM||comments (106)|
If you want to have a great sex life, don't try to have sex the way we have it in movies. Movie sex is designed for visual stimulation and sexual arousal. What looks good on camera is not always what feels good in real life. Movie sex is genitally focused. But the entire body is an erogenous zone, not just the genitals. Learn to have full body sex. My favorite kind of off camera sex is when sex is like a full body massage that included the genitals and is not just focused on them.